SECOND CHANCES
Day 162: It's been too many days since we "talked" about the Bible together. Like you, I've continued to meet with God everyday, even if I have not had the opportunity to share any of that journey because of attending to all of the demands of my dad's cancer diagnosis and then sadly his going ahead of us that love him to the presence of Jesus. After that we also lost a beloved baby born to our extended family and traveled some difficult roads with others. I had a plan to blog the Bible with you for 365 days without interruption. Life has a funny way of interrupting our plans.
My goal was not only to go on a one year, every day journey with God, but to keep on ongoing conversation with you. I failed. And every day that I didn't blog through the Bible, I kicked myself for not being able to make it all happen: blogging, my job, my dad, my family, my work, and my random other commitments. And it has taken an emotional toll called guilt.
Here is an approximation of the conversation that I had with myself about this situation:
ME: "You can't skip YET another day."
MYSELF: "But I am so tired. And we have to be on the road to another event tomorrow."
ME: "You made a commitment. People are expecting you to keep it."
MYSELF: "I know, but no one will really miss my input."
ME: "Yes they will. And if you don't go write, your reputation won't be worth a plug nickle?"
MYSELF: "But I need to sleep."
ME: "Fine, but when no one remembers your name, don't say I didn't warn you."
That is about that time that "I" jumped into the conversation with ME and MYSELF to set us all straight: "Whatever I do, I must do it all to the glory of God."
It took days of wrestling to realize that my insistence that I needed to keep blogging just because that was my goal, was not about "the glory of God." It was about "the glory of me." Somewhere in my brain, what began to the Glory of God morphed into others being disappointed in "me". I didn't want all those who read this blog to go and not come back to read what "I" had written. In my zeal to shine a light on God, I had somehow turned the light, at least in my heart, on "myself." The drive to keep blogging even though it was my dad who needed all my attention, had become an issue of pride: "I" didn't want to fail.
So, after God shining a light in a place I hadn't seen I surrendered the guilt, the pride and the anxiety and put all of my energy into where it needed to be -getting my dad prepared for the battle ahead of him to beat cancer and to try to do it to God's glory with a servant's heart. I stepped away from writing about God's love to simply showing it day by day to my dad by walking every step of the journey with him - to the very last breath. Looking back now, I have no regrets that it was all about him or any thoughts that I misused by time.
I learned many valuable lessons on that road with dad, not the least of which is to beware the cancer.... of pride. It is something every human must guard against. Like my dad's cancer, pride can grow inside undetected for a while, but eventually, the symptoms will give it away. My desire not to loose face was my warning that I was at risk of it spreading. I'm thankful I got the message, but just to be sure, on the very day I am free to return to Blogging Through the Bible with you, God gave me one more reminder of the cost of pride.
As we have been reading through Chronicles (which is where I left off our conversation together) we have read the record of the succession of kings who ruled over Judah in David's line. Each one's life is summed up in one of two ways: Either the king "did what was pleasing in the sight of the Lord" or the king "did not do what was pleasing in the sight of the Lord." It caught my attention that today's reading began with a slight difference:
"Uzziah did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight, just as his father, Amaziah, had done. Uzziah sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. And as long as the king sought the Lord, God gave him success." 2 Chronicles 26:4-5
The description of Uzziah's life had a qualifier on it. He pleased the Lord... during certain days. He was successful... as long as he sought God. The key seemed to be "during the days' of Zechariah" So what did he do during that time. He warred against the enemies of God's people and "God helped him" in those battles and in his rule. He built towns, fortified towers, constructed forts in the wilderness, dug water cisterns for his great herds, and he had a well trained army ready for battle. He even produced machines mounted on the walls of Jerusalem, to shoot arrows and hurl stones from the towers. The result was as you might expect.
8 his fame spread as far as the border of Egypt, because he had become very powerful. . .15 His fame spread far and wide, for he was greatly helped until he became powerful.
With God's sovereign hand, Uzziah was successful at everything he did. For a while, Uzziah was aware that his success was because of God's help. Along the way, though, as his fame and power grew, so did his ego. He forgot that God was on his side helping his plans succeed.
16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall.
Uzziah moved from pleasing God to pleasing himself - from seeking God's fame to seeking his own. In short, he got very full of himself.
16 He was unfaithful to the Lord his God, and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense. 17 Azariah the priest with eighty other courageous priests of the Lord followed him in. 18 They confronted King Uzziah and said, “It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord. That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense. Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God.”
Rather than listening to the correction and turning away from his pride in thinking he could dictate even the worship of God, Uzzuiah became enraged and refused to stop. He would come to wish he could TIVO that moment and rewind his choice. God had offered him a path back to obedience and he refused to take it. The opportunity was gone and he was instantly struck with leprosy. Now he would not only NOT be taking over the priest's job, he wouldn't even get to enter the temple... or anywhere else. He lived the rest of his life in isolation with leprosy of God's judgment. The cancer of pride on the inside, would be outwardly visible until the day he died.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think God is going to strike me with leprosy the next time I do something out of pride. Nor do I think there is anything wrong with getting recognition for hard work, creativity or success. But I do take it as a cautionary tale from the Lord about what can happen when anything puts us on the throne and casts God as our servant. If this story is any indication, we don't have to guess if that describes us because pride never stays only on the inside. It always works it way out and becomes all too obvious. And like leprosy, pride spreads and becomes a cancer of the heart and mind. It distorts the truth that it is God who has the power and is worthy of fame. There will always be a price to pay for pride. But God is gracious to expose our pride, as embarrassing as that is, if we are willing to see it, and to give us the chance to turn away from it.
He did that for me over something as ridiculous as a blog. He might do it with His quiet voice, or through a friend, maybe even a group of friends, or even our own conscience. However and where ever He points out pride, it is best to cut it out before it starts to spread.
Day 210 of 365
2 Chronicles 26
2 Chronicles 27
2 Chronicles 28
Romans 13
Psalm 23:1-6
Proverbs 20:11
My goal was not only to go on a one year, every day journey with God, but to keep on ongoing conversation with you. I failed. And every day that I didn't blog through the Bible, I kicked myself for not being able to make it all happen: blogging, my job, my dad, my family, my work, and my random other commitments. And it has taken an emotional toll called guilt.
Here is an approximation of the conversation that I had with myself about this situation:ME: "You can't skip YET another day."
MYSELF: "But I am so tired. And we have to be on the road to another event tomorrow."
ME: "You made a commitment. People are expecting you to keep it."
MYSELF: "I know, but no one will really miss my input."
ME: "Yes they will. And if you don't go write, your reputation won't be worth a plug nickle?"
MYSELF: "But I need to sleep."
ME: "Fine, but when no one remembers your name, don't say I didn't warn you."
That is about that time that "I" jumped into the conversation with ME and MYSELF to set us all straight: "Whatever I do, I must do it all to the glory of God."
It took days of wrestling to realize that my insistence that I needed to keep blogging just because that was my goal, was not about "the glory of God." It was about "the glory of me." Somewhere in my brain, what began to the Glory of God morphed into others being disappointed in "me". I didn't want all those who read this blog to go and not come back to read what "I" had written. In my zeal to shine a light on God, I had somehow turned the light, at least in my heart, on "myself." The drive to keep blogging even though it was my dad who needed all my attention, had become an issue of pride: "I" didn't want to fail.
So, after God shining a light in a place I hadn't seen I surrendered the guilt, the pride and the anxiety and put all of my energy into where it needed to be -getting my dad prepared for the battle ahead of him to beat cancer and to try to do it to God's glory with a servant's heart. I stepped away from writing about God's love to simply showing it day by day to my dad by walking every step of the journey with him - to the very last breath. Looking back now, I have no regrets that it was all about him or any thoughts that I misused by time.
I learned many valuable lessons on that road with dad, not the least of which is to beware the cancer.... of pride. It is something every human must guard against. Like my dad's cancer, pride can grow inside undetected for a while, but eventually, the symptoms will give it away. My desire not to loose face was my warning that I was at risk of it spreading. I'm thankful I got the message, but just to be sure, on the very day I am free to return to Blogging Through the Bible with you, God gave me one more reminder of the cost of pride.
As we have been reading through Chronicles (which is where I left off our conversation together) we have read the record of the succession of kings who ruled over Judah in David's line. Each one's life is summed up in one of two ways: Either the king "did what was pleasing in the sight of the Lord" or the king "did not do what was pleasing in the sight of the Lord." It caught my attention that today's reading began with a slight difference:
"Uzziah did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight, just as his father, Amaziah, had done. Uzziah sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. And as long as the king sought the Lord, God gave him success." 2 Chronicles 26:4-5
The description of Uzziah's life had a qualifier on it. He pleased the Lord... during certain days. He was successful... as long as he sought God. The key seemed to be "during the days' of Zechariah" So what did he do during that time. He warred against the enemies of God's people and "God helped him" in those battles and in his rule. He built towns, fortified towers, constructed forts in the wilderness, dug water cisterns for his great herds, and he had a well trained army ready for battle. He even produced machines mounted on the walls of Jerusalem, to shoot arrows and hurl stones from the towers. The result was as you might expect.
8 his fame spread as far as the border of Egypt, because he had become very powerful. . .15 His fame spread far and wide, for he was greatly helped until he became powerful.
With God's sovereign hand, Uzziah was successful at everything he did. For a while, Uzziah was aware that his success was because of God's help. Along the way, though, as his fame and power grew, so did his ego. He forgot that God was on his side helping his plans succeed.
16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall.
Uzziah moved from pleasing God to pleasing himself - from seeking God's fame to seeking his own. In short, he got very full of himself.
16 He was unfaithful to the Lord his God, and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense. 17 Azariah the priest with eighty other courageous priests of the Lord followed him in. 18 They confronted King Uzziah and said, “It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord. That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense. Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God.”
Rather than listening to the correction and turning away from his pride in thinking he could dictate even the worship of God, Uzzuiah became enraged and refused to stop. He would come to wish he could TIVO that moment and rewind his choice. God had offered him a path back to obedience and he refused to take it. The opportunity was gone and he was instantly struck with leprosy. Now he would not only NOT be taking over the priest's job, he wouldn't even get to enter the temple... or anywhere else. He lived the rest of his life in isolation with leprosy of God's judgment. The cancer of pride on the inside, would be outwardly visible until the day he died.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think God is going to strike me with leprosy the next time I do something out of pride. Nor do I think there is anything wrong with getting recognition for hard work, creativity or success. But I do take it as a cautionary tale from the Lord about what can happen when anything puts us on the throne and casts God as our servant. If this story is any indication, we don't have to guess if that describes us because pride never stays only on the inside. It always works it way out and becomes all too obvious. And like leprosy, pride spreads and becomes a cancer of the heart and mind. It distorts the truth that it is God who has the power and is worthy of fame. There will always be a price to pay for pride. But God is gracious to expose our pride, as embarrassing as that is, if we are willing to see it, and to give us the chance to turn away from it.
He did that for me over something as ridiculous as a blog. He might do it with His quiet voice, or through a friend, maybe even a group of friends, or even our own conscience. However and where ever He points out pride, it is best to cut it out before it starts to spread.
Day 210 of 365
2 Chronicles 26
2 Chronicles 27
2 Chronicles 28
Romans 13
Psalm 23:1-6
Proverbs 20:11
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