SORRY ABOUT THAT

DAY 61:  DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER! The warnings God gave to Israel in today's reading in Leviticus might have been more effective if it had started out like that. Maybe if it had been believed by a clunky robot with arms waving they would have heeded the desperate cation of what Israel could expect if they choose not to listen to God or obey His commandments. You would think just including words like "corpses" and "diseases" God used to describe the kind of discipline He would bring to bare would have been enough. It was not.  And as a parent, I'm not really surprised.  I understand the need to spell out consequences for my kids in the hopes that I never have to play the tough cards, but they don't always listen either.  Still, I can meet out punishment with a clear conscience because I gave full disclosure.  Even with such warnings, I see Israel acting like my own kids, or vice-versa, and perhaps for the same reasons - they are in denial that someone who loves them so much would really punish them that severely.

One instance stands out clearly in my memory: Like most families, we often ran from can to can't trying to keep up with all of our kids' activities.  For several years all three of our kids played little league baseball.  During the spring and summer we spent more time at the ballpark then we did at home, playing 6 to 8 games each week!  It was a fabulous time we all enjoyed, but it was also exhausting.  On this day, we dragged home at 10pm having been at the fields for almost 12 hours.  All of our kids had games that Saturday, and our oldest, who was 10, had played a double-header.  All I wanted to do was to get my 6, 7, and 10-year-old ball players scrubbed down and into bed, so I put them all into bath at the same time in my bathroom.  

Our oldest was in the shower and the two younger ones were across the bathroom in the tub together.  Unfortunately, still wired from snow cones and candy bars, they were more interested in playing than washing. With the clock ticking closer to 11pm and church the next day I finally warned them.  "I want you to stop playing now and get washed.  If you are not finished in 10 minutes, tomorrow you will go to bed one hour early. Now get washed and get out water."

I got busy putting away all the gloves and bats and picking up the kitchen and didn't think about the kids again for 20 minutes.  I headed back to the bathroom expecting to find obedient children, washed, dried and ready for bed.  What I actually found was world war three... to be exact my children were having a washcloth war. They had been bombing each other with soaking wet washcloths across the bathroom.  The floor had a least an inch of water covering it and the walls and counters were soaked as well.  I didn't have to speak, my face said it all.  But of course I did speak.

"I can't believe the mess you have made.  Didn't I tell you to wash and get out?  What an earth possessed you to soak the bathroom like this.  You will not only go to bed early tomorrow, but every night for a week! Get out now. Dry the bathroom completely and get in bed.  You have 10 minutes!" With that I exited the watery battlefield.  They not only chose not to listen to my instructions or obey me, they took their behavior to an extreme - and flooded my bathroom.  

I was calm by the time I went to each child's room to say goodnight.  My 6-year-old daughter was almost asleep and gave me a groggy, "Sorry, Mommy."  Our 10-year-old had his head under his covers to avoid any more trouble.  But when I got to Bailey's room, our precious red-headed middle child was in tears.  "Oh mommy, I'm sorry I didn't obey you," he cried.  "I love you so much."  With that he collapsed in my arms. Hugging him tightly, I assured him I loved him, too, but didn't take back the punishment.  It didn't matter.  He was so relieved to be in my arms he sobbed, "Mommy, when I get in trouble, I just remember all the good times we've had."  

Of all my kids, the heart that melted mine was the one that was truly repentant.  He was sorry he disobeyed not because he was getting a punishment, but because he felt the distance that came with disobedience.  He just wanted to know that no matter what, I was still his and he was still mine - just like all the good times before. 

I think God reminded me of this story as I read about Israel to remind me that a heart like Bailey's is the kind of sorrow God is looking for from His children.  He described it like this just after He warned Israel that discipline would come with rebellion:

 ^{Leviticus 26:40} “But at last my people will confess their sins . . . for betraying me and being hostile toward me. ⁴¹ When I have turned their hostility back on them and brought them to the land of their enemies, then at last their stubborn hearts will be humbled. . .  ⁴⁵ that I might be their God. I am the LORD.” 

A heart confession will come with sorrow.  A heart confession will be humble.  A confession will desire reconciliation.  God isn't looking for a cursory "sorry" or one who hides from the truth hoping it will blow over.   When I refuse to listen to God or disobey Him outright, what will restore our intimacy will be my broken, contrite, humble heart reaching out - even if in the midst of discipline.   

There I will find waiting arms and a whisper that says, "I am your God.  I am your Lord."  Indeed, He is mine!


 Day 61 of 365
Leviticus 25:47-55
Leviticus 26
Leviticus 27:1-13
Mark 10:32-52
Psalm 45:1-17
Proverbs 10:22