FAITHFUL DOUBTERS

DAY 58: Do you remember when your kids were in the "why" phase? I thought it would never end.  It always went something like this:

Child:Why are there clouds in the sky?
Mom:So that the ground can get rain?
Child:Why does the ground need rain?
Mom: So the plants and animals can get a drink?
Child:Why do they need to get a drink?
Mom:Because everything has to have water to live?
Child:Why does everything have to have water t live?
Mom:Because that is they way God made everything?
Child:Why did He make it like that?
DESPERATE MOM: Oh look, it's time for snacks!

The endless cycle of questions could bet a little annoying, but I knew that their asking questions was the best way to discover the world and how things worked.  It was also very entertaining at times.  Like when one of my kids would hear a truth that just made no sense at all.  I'll never forget when my youngest son simply refused to believe that a fat hairy caterpillar we found in our yard would really turn into a butterfly like the ones that flew around our roses.  He was sure it was some kind of joke his older brother was playing on him. Still, with my help, he made a safe place to put the caterpillar - just in case.   He may have doubted our crazy story, but deep inside he was willing to be convinced - so he checked on it every single day. You know the rest of the story - he became a believer. 

As I read today's Bible passage, I saw that same kind of skeptical willingness in a man who met Jesus.  Jesus was just coming down from the mountain with Peter, James and John when He came upon a ruckus involving his disciples.  A man had come to them begging for help for his demon-possessed son who had been tormented for years, but the disciples seemed powerless.  When Jesus arrives, the man pleads with the Master for help.

Mark 9:21 “How long has this been happening?” Jesus asked the boy’s father.  He replied, “Since he was a little boy. 22 The spirit often throws him into the fire or into water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.” 

 Beaten down by years of suffering, even as the man begs for help, you can hear the doubt in his voice.  He came to Jesus because of the stories he had heard, but even in his hope there is unbelief.    
Is it enough to disqualify him from a miracle? 

 23 “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
 24 The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” 

HOW WONDERFULLY HONEST he was with Jesus.  And it was the only cure for his problem. This man's belief survived his doubt not because of his own wisdom, insight or strength; but because he threw his doubts at the feet of Jesus and begged Jesus to help even his unbelief. 

Paul Johannes Tillich, a German theologian and philosopher said, "Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is one element of faith." Because this father doubted did not mean he did not trust that Jesus was able - in fact, he trusted that Jesus was able to overcome even his doubts. He stayed in Jesus presence, doubts and all.   Had he walked away from Jesus with his doubts tucked under his arms rather than casting them unashamedly at Jesus' feet, he would have been a man of doubt, rather than what he was:  A doubting man of faith.  

Sometimes I read or hear about what God can do or has done and try to imagine how in the world such tremendous things could be true; and when I cannot reason it, the most logical thing in the world is for doubt slip in the side door.  How, oh how, can I truly be a Christian if I let that ugly caterpillar of doubt inch into my heart? But I have not slipped into faithlessness if, like my son and this man, I am willing to be convinced even over my doubts.  If I keep going back to where that truth resides, looking for hope in my unbelief, there in the presence of Jesus, I will find help in my unbelief.  In His presence, belief will survive my doubts.  

From this father I have learned that guilt is never the right response to my doubts and disbelief.  Begging Jesus to help me overcome my doubt is the only way my belief will survive my very human doubts to take up wings and fly!

Day 58 of 365
Leviticus 20:22-27
Leviticus 21
Leviticus 22:1-16
Mark 9:1-29
Psalm 43:1-5
Proverbs 10:18

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